The process of finding the right match is usually initiated by the parents and the extended family, once you are deemed to be professionally, financially or socially well-settled; This hold good for both men and women. As most Indian families would consider, it would be on account of these 3 factors, that one would find a ‘suitable match’. However, the process has taken an unexpected, worldly  turn in today’s very urbanised context. While the platform still remains the same- of parents, friends or families ‘setting-you-up’ to meet someone who may be considered a suitable life partner for you, the approach has been transformed to extremely pragmatic, often to the point of being hard-nosed and impersonal. And at this juncture, it is important to keep in mind the bigger picture- of happiness and therefore, it is crucial to stay who you are.

Loved this!

http://smilethesmile.blogspot.com/2011/08/eligible-bachelor-and-lotus-root-curry.html

Even Living Together Is Too Much Commitment for Today's Couples

Instead, they're shacking up a few nights a week while keeping option of going to their own home

-- Robert Preidt

FRIDAY, July 29 (HealthDay News) -- A growing number of young American adults are engaging in what's called "stayover relationships," in which they spend three or more nights together each week while still having the option of going to their own homes, a new study shows.

"Instead of following a clear path from courtship to marriage, individuals are choosing to engage in romantic ties on their own terms without the guidance of social norms," study author Tyler Jamison, a doctoral candidate in the human development and family studies department at the University of Missouri, said in a university news release.

"There is a gap between the teen years and adulthood during which we don't know much about the dating behaviors of young adults. Stayovers are the unique answer to what emerging adults are doing in their relationships," she added.

There are a number of reasons for this growing trend in stayover relationships, said Jamison, who interviewed college-aged adults in committed, exclusive relationships.

"As soon as couples live together, it becomes more difficult to break up," she explained. "At that point, they have probably signed a lease, bought a couch and acquired a dog, making it harder to disentangle their lives should they break up. Staying over doesn't present those entanglements."

The couples in the study with stayover routines were content in their relationships, but didn't necessarily plan to move in together or get married.

"Many college-aged adults are students who will soon be facing a transition point in their lives," Jamison said. "Most students do not have a definite plan for where they will live or work after graduation, and stayovers are a way for couples to have comfort and convenience without the commitment of living together or having long-term plans."

The study appears in the current issue of the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.

http://health.msn.com/healthy-living/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100275843&gt1=31036

From the pages of History

http://rutube.ru/tracks/768040.html?v=7d0def1817cf5fc0d87abf9ea2294a45

anyone remember him?

Why So Serious XV

Why So Serious XIV

Why So Serious XIII

Why So Serious XII

Why So Serious XI

Why So Serious X

varied thoughts

Everyone's got some baggage. Its a part of life. But like anything else, Its just easier when there is someone to give you a hand with it.

http://rja.blogspot.com/2004/07/arranged-marriage.html

Why So Serious IX

tattoo tactics

trigger-happy-tattoo-lover? 

You may want to rein it in a bit..

Dowry Calculator

Want to know how much you're worth?

try the dowry calculator here

Why So Serious VIII

Tactful Translation

What is said; and below, what is probably meant

Gee, it sure is getting late, and I've got an early morning tomorrow.
I want to go home now.

Please excuse my yawning; it's been a really tough week.
You bore me to tears.

You've led such a different life than I have!
We have nothing in common.

There are so many sides to your personality.
You sure seemed nicer when I first saw you.

I've been in such a time crunch these days, I never have time for the fun stuff.
What a waste of time!

Your photo doesn't do you justice.
You look nothing like your picture.

Why So Serious VII

Why So Serious VI

Why so serious V

Why so serious IV

This may not be the best idea

Why so serious III

Why so serious II

Why so serious?

Modern Guide to Arranged Marriage - Part 1

Finished your studies, landed a job, and settled down? Like most other guys, marrying will probably be the next thing on your agenda. But, the dynamics of an arranged marriage have changed. What are the realities of this age-old tradition are, for a new generation.

Nowadays, parents simply suggest the person they feel is suitable for their son or daughter. Only if their child approves (after interacting with him or her), do things move ahead. Also, children are now increasingly taking the initiative to find their own partners. The number of people putting up their profiles at matrimonial sites is a case in point. So, children are now 'arranging' their own marriages.

By the new-age definition, an arranged marriage is just a 'set-up'. Parents introduce their children to each other, who meet and may even date for some time. Then, if and when they are ready, they get married.

What are you looking for?

Who you will marry is one of the most important decisions you will make. Some questions that crop up include: What sort of a girl do I marry? Will she adjust to my family? How can I decide just by meeting her a few times? When should I marry? What if I make the wrong choice?

Take a pen and paper and list the attributes you are looking for in a girl. For example, educational achievements, profession, appearance (looks, height, weight), etc. You might not find the 'perfect' girl, but you will have a fair idea of what you are looking for. Qualities to look out for include maturity and responsibility, a positive attitude toward life, commitment to the relationship, emotional openness, integrity and high self-esteem.

More Later

http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/culture/features/11621/

Chess is a game in which each party has its own singular objective even as it engages the other; a mid-game in which a struggle develops and intensifies and bits and pieces of each side are lost, both sides diminished ; an end-game in which one traps and paralyzes the other; Much Like a relationship.

The process of meeting someone new is much like playing a new tournament. You may win or lose, but each time you give in your best with the intention of winning; and if you may even lose, the hope to win the championship mustn't dwindle.

tip

re-quoting a tip for all those out there in the search for a life partner:

'find someone who is educated- at least they would appreciate what you do and what entails the hard work. the last thing thing you want is to come back to someone who doesn't understand what you do'

one cannot spend their life with someone who doesn't appreciate what you do in the first place.

Interesting Read

http://www.anthroprof.org/documents/docs102/102articles/india20.pdf

Bags and Coins

The human heart in its innate nature; is like a big brown bag, full of coins that we use on occasions.

Sometimes, we share coins willingly, sometimes unknowingly; but as time goes on, our bags are emptied out. We lose our coins, in exchange of a richer future, or a deal that falls flat. Relationships are much like bags; where coins are gained, exchanged, donated, lost, and sometimes, even stolen. This blog is an attempt to capture the essence of such relationships, not as a mere survival guide to those who are in the process of marital arrangements; through friends, family, online media and social networking, but as a means of acquiring a perspective, which over a period of time can be lost.

This is dedicated to my many friends and all those people, who shared this perspective with me, through numerous hours of conversations- over coffee, food and alcohol.

Hmm..

This blog is the result of an animated discussion about the mechanics of arranging marriage in India.. Seen not through the eyes of the protagonists, but rather through the eyes of the hapless victims, the single people. The twenty-somethings (or in my case, thirty something) who experience the trials and tribulations of premarital mating.